Super Caroline's Bacon Turtle Burger Fun!

So here is a good one. Super Caroline, my friend from grad school (the smartest cookie around) is a human computer interface genius who happens to be a great cook, runner, bikes 9 miles to work and makes beautiful art kinda woman. She and I became friends when I had my first official meltdown in grad school. I forgot to hit save (or so I thought I forgot) on a 5000 word Art History final the night before it was due. Of course Super Caroline retrieved my paper and I owed her a home cooked Indian meal. We have been friends since and have had many an adventure fooding around Chicago.

So featured below is her dinner tonight. It looks like so much fun to make but definitely not for the calorie counters (though Super Caroline will probably run it off - oh did I mention she sometimes runs 10 miles to work on LSD - Lakeshore Drive silly).

I love this turtle burger for all the fun that can be had with food.  The photographs and descriptions are courtsey Super Caroline with some minor additions/editions by me. Also I think this would be a perfect "I am uptil 4 a.m. and I am craving bacony something" kind of food.

Ingredients:
Very lean beef and/or buffalo meat or any gorund meat of choice (4 oz would be enough. Make meatballs with the extra).
Andouille sausage or good ole franks
Packet of bacon or more
Cheddar cheese
Garlic cheddar cheese
1 egg white
Spices (salt, peppar, bbq sauce etc)
Ginger, cilantro, chili powder can also be great additions

Start making the bacon weave. Cut some of the fat off the outside of the bacon to make it straight.
 
And this is how we weave bacon. See? all that 4-H isn't going to waste! (4- H for those like me who don't know its some American thing like Girls Scout but for sewing and weaving and making crafty things).
 
Weaving the bacon
 
Ta- da!...........
 
Mix the ground meat, spices and egg white. The egg white is used to help hold things together.
 
Make a meat patty, put it on the weave
 
Place some garlic cheddar cheese on the patty.
 
And more meat! Place another patty on the cheese.
 
And more Cheese ((I told you this was insane)
Fold the bacon weave over it.
Cut sausages in half both length wise and cross wise. If using hot dog it may not have to be split as the sausages are fatter than hot dogs - but way tastier. Make 3 cuts in the "feet" sausages and one cross wise cut in the "head" sausage (so it will look like a mouth opening). Carve out a conical tail as well.
Make holes in the bacon weave, poke sausages into the body embedding them into meat by about 1". Use extra bacon to cover the gap and bring stray ends of bacon into the weave.
Use a spatula to get it onto the pan.
 
Put toothpicks (that have been soaking in water) into the body to secure the sausages and keep the bacon ends secure.
Use an oven thermometer and get that dial up to beef - well! Took her 45 minutes at 400. Cooking time depends from oven to onve so poke the turtle and when the juices aren't red anymore it is well done!
Muaha haaaaaaaaaa!
"Mmmm. and for my next trick... using reptile meat to make a replica of a pig"- Super Caroline
  
Chef's Tip:
  • Cutting the excess edge fat off the bacon so it has a more regular shape helps a lot.
  • Do not eat all at once.. this could last you a long time. 
Warning: House can smell of bacon for a couple of days